Restarting a new start

It's been 4 or 5 years since i last blogged, but there has been a lot to share and post.

It's part being lazy and not really willing to share, but after all it's just thoughts lost.

I've decided to blog my thoughts and learning experience on my mid career switch. So this is my first posting about my new start in infrastructure.

My 2 months in infrastructure has learn much about what my dear friends go through daily, endless calls from ITAG and endless amount of question "Is the server running fine?". Being in this post becomes a router and teacher for all as application team will never go in depth if it has something to do with infrastructure setup. They would much prefer to ask first and check later, even if the problem is a application setup issue.

While I am not saying that infrastructure does not have problem. But it will be better if they know how to troubleshoot sometimes.

I have also learn why when I was in ITAG, infrastructure SE will always ask me again and again if the command, his going to run is correct and if they are using the right account. I totally understand it now when you have super.super rights. Scary, every command they run could be critical to the point that the whole server shuts down. I almost did something stupid in this two months as i was learning. I did a rm on a locally uses bin or executable, thanks god it was a soft link.

I have also started work as team, i currently working on its svn migration. But thanks to the teams help on the standards laid down to the application teams. The migration is easy, but not complete. I'll be finishing migration and taking ownership of the hard work laid down by my team mates, which i would say not honourable, but necessary as a team member.

Life ahead looks promising and full of learn opportunity, i hope i do not screw up.

Reflections and Inspirations

It's been one year since i ORD, life has taken some changes. I have found a job straight after national service. My career has really gone onto the super highway, rocketing to high wages and positions i haven't yet decided if this is the life i seek for. My baby boy has arrived. His name is Rylan Liew, born on 15 June 08. Cute, lovely and innocence a new born has arrived. I see him as my own reflections, born into this world clueless and lost, till now i believe i have yet discover my own meaning to life.

Will i continue seeking this meaning to life or should i just ignore this hearsay of finding the meaning to life and you will find absolute happiness. This thought has been in my mind sinces young, but i have yet grasp the truth meaning and my meaning to life.

Even if i have yet to grasp the meaning of life and the meaning of the phase "happiness is found when you understand your meaning to life". I still look forward to every dawn of everyday as whenever i see the clear blueskys it shows how big this planet is and how much we have to go through than we will finally understand what are we doing in this place.

Ord

140 Days to ORD~!~!!~~!! Hahaha 140 Days to start blogging all over again =X

Just dropping my old about me from my friendster.

My primary school was Chong De Pri School, now demolished.
Secondary school was Xinmin Sec School. Now i've grad from NYP a.k.a Nanyang poly, course SIT, School Of
Information Technology. As for appearance... fat as the
pig in the picture, loves eating, sleeping, slacking,
a lazy person.
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To all friends i've make from nyp... friends forever. u will always be in my heart this three years was fun and exciting with ups and downs quarrels and happy times it has been a honour to know all u guys hope to get together again.
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Wishes for easy life in NS.

Learn from your mistakes or make more mistakes?

It seems like we learn through making mistakes, but how are we to learn if there's no right nor wrong. Only once in a life chance to make the right decision at that situation, if wrong may in fact destory your whole life.

Why is life so fragile?

It is become a common sense that once cry = pain or death? Why can we ignore it and move on. Like a paper cut, sometimes you notices it and sometime you don't until it bleeds.

If life is a path of choices to make then i think i've miss out on a lot of choices. Placed in front of us just that we didn't realise. Why do we not enjoy the state that we're in or why do we enjoy the past that we suffered.

Question in life that can't be explain is only a lame excuse to look back and not move on, but seems like i'm stuck at that position. Looking back and not ahead.

Should i be a pessimism or a optimist about my future?

Wow... Ns....

Ns... the most effective slimming program the singapore government has to offer all the singapore young man. If you're slim you will grow skinny, if you're fat you will grow slim, if you very fat you will BECOME slim. Those 3 months of BMT life has change my life. Those days of running getting shout at for nothing and getting to do some really stupid stuff call army basics. It has been long but thinking about it now, it's much easier than now. where anything u do wrong equals do extra during weekends.

I've loss a lot of weight but i think i can't maintain it about bmt... it's been 4 weeks after bmt and i didn't loss any more weight but slowly gaining it back. Maybe i need to stay in more and live the life i had during bmt.

I didn't just gain weight lost, but also a bunch of wacky friends my bunkmates. They're the best bunkmates i ever had. These new bunkmates i have now are a lazy bunch of idiots, thinking that i will cover for their shit. Life has change a lot now, i miss my bmt bunk and my bunkmates. My Platoon commander was the best. Hahaha no i'm not going to say why but just hope he get more good recruits to play with hahaha.

Steps to manhood

June 3rd Begins my explore to manhood. National Service (NS) is a must for all Singapore male citizens and i'll begin my this coming June 3rd Friday. I am still not ready, physically and mentally not prepared to endure this hardship, but with my little baby girl and my beautiful wife in mind, i will do fine.

It's been nearly a month, this one month of resting and enjoying time with my family and friends before NS, which is most enjoyable and yet painfull as i have to leave them for 2 years of training. It's for the better, i know but i have not settle my family down with expenses cover nor confirmation of my future and walk to path of manhood with no idea for my future.

Wishes undone and Dreams too far to reach, knowledge comes painful with age growing with time that passes like light. Catch them fast and young and you will understand how to manage your short life to the max enjoying all the good things life have to offer to us.

Things like catching the stars maybe be possible for the next generation. Lifes of the future generations must be better than of the present. Parents endured with hardship not telling their next generation keeping them in the dark not knowing beams light will slowly slip in and lead them to truth.

History repeats itself, light is found, the next generations suffers.

Regrets, regrets and more regrets

The date of my enlishment is near. From the day of graduation till now i have done nothing but sit in front of my PC. Not much to say about what i have done for this week but most of it is with my baby girl. Playing and being with her, searching for new anime or series to download and watch.

I really missed school days, regrets i haven't did well, regrets i've gotten married so young and messing up 3 lives, regrets i didn't treasure things i did now, regrets things can't be the way i want to be now, regrets getting a diploma before going ns. So much regrets but none of it can be resolve until i finish my ns and formally shape my family future with bare hands. Point is now i'm old and i have a family, i can't continue studing and waste my child's future. What important now is putting food on the table, and rising the living standards of the 3 family that i have to look after.

Time flys, i was once a ignorant young boy living a carefree live, till the day i faced with life of a adult and future of a child, i realise "my life was almost wasted", if i had live the life of that ignorant young boy till the age of 30. i will have a mountain of regrets. I guess i'm lucky, my wife acknowledges my stupidity and accepting me as her husband. I guess it's hard taking a stupid husband that hasn't planned for anything for the last 20 year, as the person who she will live with and bare a beautiful baby girl for.

Oh lord have mercy on thy child let thee have knowledge and courage to face the hash real world and bless thou with the strenght not to give up even if i have nothing to give or offer for thy child's present and future, thou sincerely seek forgivness of thy lord and acknowledgement that thy child will have a meaningful and enjoyable life ahead.

Beginning of the end

Looking back from where i am now, i've changed so much. 3 years of sweet memory of me and my wife and friends i've met in nyp. Hope this friendship created last a life time and may we all be friends in next and next and next lifes too. This enriching and educational 3 years in nyp make me feel that i can take on the whole world. Just mix with the right people, work hard, sleep well and there will be nothing i can't accomplise. Seeing friends work hard and blaming themselves for not getting a better result make me realise i must push myself harder to move along with them.

This coming week will be my last week in nyp and marks the end of my schooling life under shelter of my parents and life as a student. I must set a goal now, to achieve something that will be good to my life after i grow old and retire. I dun wish to burden my girl next time to take care of me. I wish i could live a peaceful relaxing life in the plains with my wife.

I've done so much wrongs in life it's time to do something right. Going to ns is it and doing my best will show what i am really capable of and maybe get a job as officer in army if hope. I'm going to improve my language too. But sorry i'm not going to proof read this post, so please excuse my english.

quote of the day: Enjoy your youth, have no regrets, have no sins and have fun.

Lost

Have you ever set a target for yourselve and didn't reach it? What ever reason stop you from reaching it. I kept adding new items to my target list but i have achieve none of them. Maybe this targets takes a long time to reach or maybe this targets aren't really that visible. I dunno there's too much items to go through them one by one. But there's one of them I've been wondering, to give my girl the best that i can provide.

Whats the best of me to give to my girl? I do not have a strong language foundation to teach and guide her nor do i have any skills that will be usefull to her as a girl. All i know is that i need to earn money asap just to feed and groom her. I wish she wouldn't blame me for anything i couldn't teach.

Due to some uprise of events, I feel lost and demoralise. I often end up giving up or losing interest in things I do. Sometimes I didn't even start it and gave up at the beginning. Worst of all, i missed the reward. Thinking back i never make a good decision before, always taking the wrong path to my "destination" make me feel like a idiot. Just like what naruto felt when everyone boycott him, "I was in the loser category".

Doing what i felt best at, is doing nothing. Even if people is to say that i'm a computer expert, deep down inside I dun feel like one. I want to know more about computer, not just programming it, fixing it, understanding the outlook of how things work. I want to know in-dept of every single component of the computer, every single detail of how electricity and polarity, displays and stores our data. It's very fascinating to me how it calculates and computes our inputs and displays and stores the output.

Even if I got what I most despire, what I want to know before I die is what is my purpose in life.

Opening of moi blog

Wahaha finally created a blogger account, planned it for so long but didn't remember until my wife got pissed off with me. So i'm going to officially stop blogging my xanga account, for those who know please stop going there and for those who don't... don't ask (terrible blog plain interface and ugly colors yuck!).

Going to be a boring day for me today, gonna do my stuff. Wish i was back in Hitachi GST doing my ipp, job there was much more simple. Doing my fypj makes me feel stupid, working hard for something which is just going to be on a piece of paper. Why can't they just give us a chance in the working world and work till we get bored or otherwise.

Final design of this blog add will be done when i find the perfect picture that describes my life and future i wish to have. Life is short, life after death is big unknown. So don't take things for granted, love the ones u love, care for those you care for and take care, dun be a nuisance. Make your life a beautiful journey.